IS MARRIAGE FOR ME?

These unfortunate and unprecedented times with the lockdown and all it has come with is said to bring out the best and worst in people.  How has it affected your relationship or marriage? Some think it is a great time to bond with your partner while for others, they cant wait to get their partner out of their hair. Either way is very natural 😂🤦🏽‍♀️

Failed Relationship or Marriage. In most cases, relationships we get into mean a lot to us and we have high hopes for them. When they fail, it could be due to many things that aren't working or one main issue that can't be fixed.   Over the years I have learned not to point fingers if I intend to move forward quickly. I identify where I could have been wrong or what I saw but didnt acknowledge. Its bitter but it's called taking responsibility and it really helps to move on.

Not being hitched to a partner either romantic or not, either same sex or not gives you the opportunity to feel independent and make independent decisions however, it also opens up to you a feeling of loneliness. Being single is a time to get to understand yourself and what you are capable of, a time for self development and achievement because once a relationship of any sort begins, there will be limits and modifications to suit your partner. Some people even get lost in the desire to make the relationship work that they lose track of their goals and dreams. Being single is not a problem, it is a phase. Make the most of it while it lasts.

When couples begin to date or their first hangouts, unrealistic romantic expectations are not the best. Should that relationship survive into a marriage or prolonged dating, those expectations become real desires. Dont start what you cant finish/continue.  If you always buy her roses during this time of the year, just because the ring is on the finger now you feel it's no longer necessary. Instead dont start it. Some people are so afraid of being alone at this time of the year. The fact that you're single or just alone on Valentine's day doesn't mean you cant treat yourself to something sweet. Dont forget, if you dont LOVE yourself first how can you love anyone else? 

"He does everything for me and buys me lovely things but I still don't feel loved! why?"   According to Dr Gary Chapman, we tend to give and receive love through different means, the way you express love may not be the way your partner feels it so read the 5 languages of love to help your partner understand what matters the most to you and identify theirs as well. Spending Quality Time: this involves giving your partner your undivided attention e.g sitting in the living room with the television off while you both just talk to each other, taking walks while you talk to each other. Words of Affirmation:  these are the compliments you pass to your partner like, "you look really good in that outfit", "you have a lovely smile", "you really made my day, you're very kind". Gifts: it's universal to give gifts as a sign of love and appreciation and these gifts don't have to be expensive but something to show your partner is a...

When giving a gift to your partner, is it something you like or something your partner likes? Every time its's Uju's husband's birthday, she buys him lovely expensive cards; Uju loves cards more than any gift you can get her so she buys him cards. Uju's husband Tommy loves sports wristwatches so much, there's something about those watches that just catches his attention wherever he goes so on Uju's birthday, he buys her sports wristwatches. No harm is meant here, just an innocent misunderstanding. Each partner loves the other so much that they are afraid to hurt their feelings by telling them those gifts aren't really what they would like so they just say "thank you darling". First of all, tune into the sort of things your partner loves so much, let your gifts to him/her be within those line. Secondly, be respectfully honest about your opinion of the gifts they get you; you owe them that, by making statements like what Uju could have made fo...